


Who Are We (Really)

by BlueDarknessIceHeart



Series: Fire Starter//Ash Covered [8]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Injury, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Not Canon Compliant, Two apprentices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:32:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDarknessIceHeart/pseuds/BlueDarknessIceHeart
Summary: Asra's shop feeling alien for so long and the palace feeling more like a hazy memory makes far more sense when the ghost of Alia's lover nudges her towards who she truly is.(This was written back when The Arcana was still new, so it's now heavily non-compliant with current info.)





	1. Chapter 1

She...knew this room.

Alia didn't know how, but some part of her that had felt so out of place, so disjointed from Asra's shop and his Apprentice suddenly felt at ease even in the ash.

Her hand went to her temple, the pain that had only been dull so far during her time at the palace suddenly cracking along the base of her skull, blossoming behind her eyes.

_"Come now, 'Lia, try it on."_

_"Lucio, Darling, try yours first."_

_Crimson and gold, exchanged between hands._

_"Here." the grin on the Count's face was pleased as he carefully fastened the jewelry to the collar of Alia's cloak._

_She did the same, smiling at his laughter as he held his heavier fur up so she could pin it down._

_"There, a proper beginning, no?" he pulled her to his side, metal fingers idly tracing the scar on her bare hip._

_"Starting to look the part, oh great Count." Alia leaned up and kissed him, letting him walk her back towards the bed._

She blinked her eyes open, the room around her a hazy wash of ash and crimson trying to meld into one, the ground under her seeming to tilt and she stumbled back against the wall. Her breathing was staggered, fingers pressed tightly to her temples as she fought back nausea, panic rising alonside it.

That's why she'd known the palace so well, she'd _lived_ in it. How much of her life did she not remember?

Lucio watched, not uttering a word, as Alia placed her head on her knees.

He wanted to touch her, speak to her, help her remember.

Alia bit back against the pain that crept into her jaw, shut her eyes tight and let her memories shift, rearrange, at a pace that felt almost breakneck.  Lucio thought she might be dying herself with the way she shook, until her head snapped up, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Lia?"

The sob that wrenched itself from her body was the same, broken, sound that haunted his own memories of every time one of them had flirted with death until it wasn't quite flirting on his end.

"Luce - _Lucio_? I'm not - I'm not completely losing my mind, am I?" she ran a hand through her hair, streaking it with ash and his laugh almost calmed her.

"No you're as intact as you could be for, well, you, sweetheart." he reached for her, the tips of his fingers grazing her cheek and she leaned into the faint pressure, into the chill of him - the upset flush on her face not serving to hide her exhaustion.

"We met when I saved your life, and we spent so, so long together out there, and - and I almost died, you almost died _again_ losing your arm, am I remembering all that correctly? It's all I've been able to remember in this palace, our mercenary days," she was angry at herself, at who or whatever had stolen this from her, " _I didn't even get to-_. " her breathing was unsteady once again and he hated it. It was too close to when the ghosts of dead men haunted her dreams, and it made him wish he was alive again if only to be _solid_.

"Calm down, firecracker."

Alia laughed, short and broken, as she made herself breathe. The cool press of his hand against the side of neck familiar enough to her to keep her steady.

"What I've remembered is _odd_. I remember that tavern girl, who poisoned your wine. I remember you - you getting sick, nearly taking out Reylina's eye, I remember that _trip_." she could feel the tears welling back up and swiped them away, wrinkling her nose afterwards at the feeling of ash clinging to her face.

"Which trip, 'Lia?"

Her fingers twirled, the golden bird that flitted around her as she looked down to the side, blood welling up around the canine sunk into her lower lip before she spoke, voice quiet enough that if he'd been alive he'd have never heard her, "Scandal as a family trait, right?"


	2. Chapter 2

Rooting through Asra's shop had her nearly in tears.

Every crimson gem, golden ring, every piece of herself - of Lucio - that she found hidden away brought something back.

It hurt, physically, the pain of remembering had her reeling as she trailed fingers over the black cloth of the dress she'd found.

It was one of the first things Lucio had had made for her, when he became Count.

She'd adored it, the high cut up the side showing her intricate scar and allowing her to move more freely than a normal dress would have.

Alia slid out of the clothing she'd been given by Nadia, resisted the urge to hurl it against the wall, pulling on the dress with a gentleness she hadn't thought herself capable of in what felt like years.

_"It suits you." Lucio was propped up on the bed, clearly taking her appearance in._

_"It does," she gave a small spin, finding the material was light enough to lift but not fly away from her, "Thank you, love."_

_"Now, to get you properly outfitted the rest of the way-"_

Alia sat on the floor, gave herself time to process.

The smaller memories took more out of her, were harder to fit in the spaces.

It felt like someone had gutted her, cracked her ribcage apart and emptied her insides onto the floor every time she stumbled across something new she'd forgotten.

The noise she made was bitter, something that wanted to be a laugh that died in her throat. They had thought they were unkillable, untouchable, for so long.

Then she got kidnapped, tortured - Lucio lost his arm and nearly bled out under the palms of her hands for the third time in their relationship.

All before he even became Count, and she the loyal witch.

She slid her arms through the white coat, fastening it at her neck with shaking hands.

The fur that lined the collar was comforting, like a child's toy rediscovered.

Alia found the metal claws, sharp still and tangled with a gold and black bracelet in a small pouch.

_Lucio laughed, almost sad._

_"You're not my wife and I've already covered you in rings and everything else that came to mind over the years." the hand that he ran through his hair had her tilting her head, even though she stayed quiet._

_"So, I thought of something else."_

_The bracelet was simple, for Lucio's taste. Which, to her, meant much more. It was made of onyx and gold beads, and slid over her hand easily, but didn't fall once placed._

_"I'm expecting the more dramatic part now." Alia's light laugh had him grinning, even as she ran her free hand through his hair and a thumb over his cheek._

_"Oh, firecracker, of course."_

_The shape was similar to his own armour coverings for his prosthetic, and his grin grew wider at the gleam in her eyes._

_Black and glinting in the low light of their room, he lifted the hand he still held higher and slid them over her fingertips._

_He watched her flex her fingers, the curl of the metal just enough to be natural - and enough to be used against someone if she so wished._

_Alia looked from her hand to him, the curve of dark red lips enough to tell him he did well._

_"I adore them."_

_"Adore? And here I thought I did good." the smug smile on his face had her laughing, pulling him down to her with her metal-free hand._

_"The only thing I'll profess my love to is you, Lucio. Not even your gifts get that honor."_

The one memory flowed almost too quickly into another.

_Alia had been standing in the shadows of Lucio's bedroom the entire time, watching._

_How he had gotten sick, she still did not know. But she was worn thin, her temper as quick to come to bare as the Count's._

_The magician snapping at him was understandable, he was being fussy - and Julian looked like was going to drop, and Alia knew a budding relationship when she saw one - but what followed pulled her forwards faster than everything had time to register._

_Her love would not be spoken down to by some fucking magician._

_Lucio had given her her own set of claws, years ago. She intended to use them._

_The girl was sharp tongued, oh yes, but Alia was tired - scared, some braver souls would say - and the lunge of the palace witch came as quickly as Lucio had taught her long ago._

_The catch of metal on flesh felt like a relief, the "get. out." wrenched from her chest holding all the command she no longer had._

_The door shutting behind the two, Julian dragging the bleeding magician out of the room, had her turning to Lucio._

_Lucio - who even pale and weak, was grinning at her, the end of something he'd snapped at the two retreating out of his room never registering past the anger._

_She slid the metal off of her fingers, running her hand through Lucio's hair and humming a slow tune as her fingers picked up a dim glow._

_Alia could at least dull the pain, for a little while._

She was curled in on herself when she blinked her eyes open, cheeks wet with tears.

She had never felt so weak in her life than when Lucio had gotten sick, and now she was reliving it.

Alia pulled herself up, carefully slid the metal over her fingers, and tidied up the room.

She slowed, nearing the door to the shop, flexing her hand.

The magician in her memories -

_That was Rey._

The shop door closed behind her, and the world suddenly seemed to fit around her more like it was supposed to.

She was herself - and her chest still ached.


End file.
